When Queensland great Willie Tonga stopped his former NRL teammate Reni Maitua from taking his own life by the barest of margins, his attitude towards his own life changed forever.
Tonga, 42, has spoken exclusively to the Daily Mail about the major shift that helped him win his own mental health battle.
The premiership-winner opened up about how he came to the realisation that his problems with depression led him to abuse alcohol.
‘I used to think if someone had depression… I thought they were a p***y. But it [Maitua’s brush with death] changed my whole perspective,’ Tonga revealed.
Tonga and Maitua have been friends for decades, and even made their club debuts for the Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs in the same match back in 2004.
The former Maroons star is credited with saving Maitua’s life when he made a mad dash to his apartment and talked him out of doing the unthinkable in 2013.
Willie Tonga (pictured left of Reni Maitua) has revealed how badly his best mate’s suicide attempt affected him
Tonga (pictured playing for the Bulldogs in 2005) had an NRL career that spanned 13 years
In 2018, Tonga gave a raw account of just how close Maitua came to ending it all before he managed to save him after making a mad dash to his flat in western Sydney.
‘He’s sitting at the end of the bed, belt around his neck. I tackled him,’ Tonga told the GrangeTV podcast.
‘He was holding the belt, slumped over and he was losing consciousness.
‘If that door wasn’t open, or his unit door, he wouldn’t be here … it’s kind of like a miracle.’
‘Leading up to the incident, I didn’t believe in depression. I didn’t think it was a real thing,’ Tonga told the Daily Mail.
Seeing Maitua in complete despair shook Tonga to the core and made him realise he had also gone through depression.
The former centre explained how badly the state of his mental health declined after suffering multiple injuries that robbed him of the chance to play for Queensland.
‘I had all these injuries where I’d lock myself in a room for days,’ Tonga said.
Reni Maitua (pictured left of Tonga) almost took his own life in 2013
Tonga (pictured) played eight matches for Queensland
‘I didn’t think I had depression, but Reni’s incident made me understand I probably did.’
When the early part of his career saw him suffer frequent problems with serious injury, he considered retiring from rugby league altogether.
‘During that four-year period I had so many doubts, and I thought of giving up,’ Tonga said.
He fought through that to spend 12 years in the NRL. What followed that was one of the worst periods of his life.
Tonga revealed that after returning from a stint in Britain’s Super League in 2017, he extended his footy career for a further season because he was scared of what awaited him in retirement.
‘I don’t know anybody who hasn’t struggled post-retirement,’ he said.
‘Who am I now that I don’t play football? What is my purpose? That’s the biggest challenge.
‘I came back from England and my body had broken down.
‘I had no back-up plan, but I wanted to play because I was so scared of retiring.
‘In the year I came back, I gave myself time to work out what I was gonna do.’
After spiralling further out of control, Tonga was given a lifeline by his former Dogs teammate Willie Mason, who he was living with at the time.
‘I was in a very bad place, and in a depressed state,’ Tonga said.
The 42-year-old (pictured) has become a gym junkie in recent years in a move he credits with completely changing his life
The former footy player (pictured) turned to fitness in one of his darkest periods, thanks to his former Bulldogs teammate Willie Mason
‘I’d be stuck in a room for days on end, and I remember Mase (Willie Mason) saying to come to the gym with him,’ the 42-year-old added.
Tonga’s first weights session lit a fire in his belly and encouraged him to make becoming as fit as possible his main goal.
‘[The session] was like a light bulb switch, and made me want to get out of my rut,’ he added.
‘I wanted to push my body to its absolute limits, and see how fit I can get and how lean I can get.’
Tonga has since achieved that by carving out a ripped physique which he frequently displays on social media.
He’s also become an Indigenous community leader and is attempting to change the state of play for Aboriginal children.
The footy great’s Willie Tonga Foundation, which he founded in late 2024, aims to provide youngsters with strong male role models.
‘Starting the foundation had been on my mind for a while, and it took me five to six years to pull the trigger,’ Tonga said.
The Indigenous community leader (pictured) trains in the gym on a daily basis and said pushing his body to the absolute limit was key to turning his life around
The above picture shows just how much Tonga has changed physically since he prioritised his gym sessions
The former NRL player had previously worked for the Deadly Choices organisation, which aims to guide Indigenous youngsters in the right direction.
When he attended Deadly Choices events, he picked up on something he wanted to fix.
‘When I went into these rural communities, for Deadly Choices, I recognised hardly any men turning up,’ Tonga said.
‘I went to prisons and detention centres in Queensland, and a lot of these places had kids running amok and not being held accountable.’
Tonga’s foundation aims to deliver mentoring workshops in juvenile justice centres, regional communities and city schools.
He shares his personal journey with mental health at the get-togethers and explains how he’s been able to overcome severe life challenges.
‘When I was growing up, we had strong leaders who we aspired to be like,’ Tonga said.
‘But when I started travelling around, I realised we don’t have those strong Aboriginal role models in these rural communities, so I wanted to do something about it.’
If you or anyone you know needs support, contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636
