I’m no A-lister but I’ve run the gauntlet of awful headlines and nasty rumours, having lived, for better or worse, a relatively public life as an author, columnist and, of course, Samantha X.
I’ve taken it on the chin, in part because I was the one who made my life public.
But here’s the thing: I have a hard and fast rule when it comes to my public persona – my family and those I love are off limits.
No names, no photos; most people wouldn’t have a clue what I do behind closed doors, who I do it with or who matters most to me.
I say this because it’s entirely possible to live a public life, bear the weight of your own scandals and not drag the people around you into the vortex of gossip, abuse and public scrutiny.
Which brings me, of course, to Lachie Neale.
Before Lachie Neale’s tribunal decision was handed down, I caught wind that his new girlfriend, 29-year-old Emma Field, was already on her way to Melbourne. Sure enough, pictures soon emerged of her dash through the airport
She was seen giving him a victory kiss in the post-match rooms back in August. It’s possible she will be cheering him on at Saturday’s grand final. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend it
For a vanishingly brief window this week, his sex life wasn’t the headline; rather it was his one-match suspension for striking Hawthorn’s Jack Ginnivan in the preliminary final, meaning that for a few days it looked like he’d played his last game for the Brisbane Lions and would be barred from the AFL grand final this Saturday.
That decision was overturned last night, meaning the former skipper will now take his place against Fremantle at the MCG on Saturday.
Before that tribunal decision was handed down, I caught wind that Lachie’s new girlfriend, 29-year-old Emma Field, was already on her way to Melbourne. Sure enough, pictures soon emerged of her dash through the airport.
Immediately, the group chats exploded. ‘Surely she isn’t going to the grand final?’
The possibilities rushed in: will Emma be cheering on her man for his last Lions game? Will she run onto the ‘G if the Lions secure a historic third straight premiership?
It’s not beyond the realm. After all, she is his partner (good luck, babe) and she was seen giving him a victory kiss in the post-match rooms back in August.
If she is preparing to make her big WAG debut at the grand final – noting her absence from the Brownlow on Monday – I can only imagine her excitement right now.
Perhaps she’ll be wondering what to wear, where to sit and what it will feel like to watch Lachie play at the MCG for his last Lions game before his widely rumoured move to Collingwood next year.
Lachie (left) joined the grand final parade in Melbourne on Friday, the morning after a tribunal cleared him to play
A day earlier, Emma was seen catching a flight out of Brisbane Airport
And having already had paparazzi to deal with, she will also know the cameras will inevitably be looking for her in the crowd. Newspaper picture editors will already be rubbing their hands with glee. Will she be with the other WAGs… or will she be banished to social Siberia due to loyalties to Lachie’s estranged wife Jules?
So here’s my warning to you, Lachie: don’t do it. Just don’t.
You see, I learned my lesson. You can be a public figure but that doesn’t mean the public is entitled to know every intimate detail of your life.
There is a vast difference – a very important one – between living in the public eye and dragging the people you love into it with you.
And let me ask you this: do you really want Emma to be dragged into all of your drama?
It’s not her fault that your extramarital affair last year made you the most talked-about footballer in the league who doesn’t wear a Swans jersey.
My advice? Tell her to stay home. Book the spa day. Book a penthouse suite. Book whatever you have to. Just don’t put her in the firing line.
If you think I’m being mean, let me spell it out for you as delicately as possible.
It was only at last year’s grand final (yes, 12 months ago!) that you were photographed with your wife Jules, your mistress Tess Crosley and her poor husband Ben.
The image has been published a thousand times. It’s practically seared into my mind.
The smiles, the arm wrapped around Jules, yet Tess’s knee definitely nudging into your thigh. We all saw it, and when your marriage imploded weeks later and we found you’d been having a four-month affair with Tess, we all looked at that grand final moment with you proudly holding your medal and thought… what the f*** was this idiot thinking?
It was at last year’s grand final that Lachie was photographed with his wife Jules, his mistress Tess Crosley and her poor husband Ben. What was once a jubilant grand final moment for a two-time premiership-winning team captain became a joke
For god’s sake, it has even become a Mad Monday costume (pictured)
‘Perhaps you think a snap with your new girlfriend running into your arms will exorcise the demons of last year’s grand final. It won’t. Emma will be compared to the women who came before her. The gossip will start anew and she’ll wear consequences of a scandal she didn’t create,’ writes Amanda Goff
You stood down as co-captain. Your wife fled to Perth with the kids. Tess was branded with the scarlet letter. And every single headline was splashed next to *that photo* of your grand final moment.
For god’s sake, it has even become a Mad Monday costume.
I hate to say it, Lachie, but you humiliated Jules, for whom I have enormous respect. You also dragged Tess into a scandal that ultimately embarrassed everyone involved, including her husband, your mate.
What was once a jubilant grand final moment for a two-time premiership-winning team captain became a joke. I’ve seen a million cruel memes. I’ve seen the footy blokes dressing up as you, Tess and Jules during their end-of-season piss-ups.
And so here’s my warning: why add another woman to a story that has already embarrassed enough people? Last year’s grand final photo was humiliating enough for the people in it. Don’t risk restaging it on Saturday but with poor, blameless Emma in the frame in place of your wife and lover. She deserves better than that.
I have nothing against Emma. She seems like a lovely, possibly naive, young woman. She may not have a clue what’s coming for her in terms of the harsh glare of the media spotlight.
But one thing is sure: Emma didn’t create the drama that came before her and she shouldn’t have to inherit it.
Yet the second she steps into the spotlight at the grand final, that is precisely what risks happening. Every single lens will be pointing at her. Every smile will be analysed, every interaction between you both will become a talking point.
And if Brisbane win the trophy, photographers will make a beeline for her.
Perhaps you think a happy snap with your new girlfriend running into your arms will exorcise the demons of last year’s grand final. It won’t. Emma will inevitably be compared to the women who came before her. The gossip will start anew and she’ll wear the consequences of a scandal she didn’t create.
Look, I get the temptation to show Emma off. Jules is happy living her own life in Perth, and I know you probably would want to show us all how happy you are too.
But in this case, the most respectful and loving thing you can do is protect the person you are with now, Lachie. Don’t make them a prop, a cast member of your drama, the new star of your show. You’re the famous one, an elite sportsman. Emma is not a celebrity and she isn’t the happy ending to make everyone forget last year’s drama.
Definitely don’t place her in the middle of a sporting spectacle where every eyeball will be on her and every fan will have an opinion. I almost never say this (because I love sporting scandals) but just let it be about the football.
Good luck on Saturday, Lachie. I mean it. And if you win, soak up every second of the glory. But let Emma watch privately, celebrate privately. Because if you genuinely want to protect her from the toxicity you invited into your life, the best seat for Emma on grand final day isn’t at the MCG. It’s as far away from the cameras as possible.
