Moving abroad is often viewed as the ultimate achievement, but the reality behind the relocation is rarely a smooth ride. Speaking to HT.com, 33-year-old tech professional Sabah Husen Qazi opened up about the hidden financial and emotional toll of chasing the global dream. From managing a daunting $70,000 student loan with zero safety net to dealing with intense homesickness and surviving corporate layoffs, the Bengaluru-born techie laid bare the vulnerabilities of building a life from scratch. Now a high-earning corporate employee in Toronto, Canada, Qazi shares her raw journey to remind aspiring professionals that the path to success is paved with chapters nobody talks about.
The Bengaluru-born NRI first relocated to the US and then found her “forever home” in Canada.
Her educational journey:
Long before she conquered the Ivy League and built a thriving career, Qazi had to face the rigid realities of the Indian education system. The expectations weighing on her were monumental, making her early academic setbacks feel catastrophic.
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Looking back at how those initial hurdles shaped her mindset, she told HT.com, “I attempted IIT twice and didn’t make it. At the time, that felt like the end of the road – because in India, we’re told it often is. Growing up in a conservative family where education was the singular measure of worth, and being a girl who was expected to prove herself at every step, the weight of that outcome was immense. It shook my confidence in ways I didn’t fully understand until years later.”
She added, “But life doesn’t stop. I did well through my engineering years, unconsciously carrying that self-doubt in the background — still too afraid to reach for the most ambitious opportunities. Yet something in me kept pushing. I applied to a few Ivy League and top graduate programs, almost half expecting rejection, and getting into Cornell (Ivy League & top 5 University for Computer Science in the World) was the first real signal that I was capable of more than I had given myself credit for.”
Qazi has a bachelor’s degree in computer science from MS Ramaiah Institute of Technology, Bangalore and a master’s degree in the same subject from Cornell University, Ithaca, New York.
How did the US reshape her?
Recalling her journey, the techie told HT.com, “The US reshaped everything I thought I knew. Grades weren’t a proxy for intelligence or success — results were. Relationships, conversations, and the courage to show up and ask mattered more than any score. The initial few months at Cornell were very hard as I was a homesick girl but my mother and husband supported me throughout. At Cornell I earned a Grader and TA position that helped offset my loan.”
The sudden setback:
She faced a massive hurdle when she was suddenly laid off from her job. “I had to rebuild again. Each time I did, I came out more grounded, more resourceful, and more human.”
However, Qazi shared that the professional setback wasn’t the “hardest part.” She explained, “It was being thousands of miles away from my mother — a woman who raised me on her own and whose strength is woven into everything I am. My mother, irrespective of what was happening in her personal life – tried her best never to impact me. She, along with my aunt and my husband, became the pillars I returned to every time I doubted myself, which was nearly every day. My mother always told and still tells me I’m her ‘son’ — that I have to be strong for her, as she saw how I stood for her and women’s rights in times of hardships for her. That responsibility, that love, has been the most powerful force in my life.”
How was it moving abroad?
She recalled, “Moving abroad, navigating failure, and carving an unconventional path didn’t just build a career — it built a perspective. It taught me the real value of people, of resilience, of staying humble through the hardest chapters. And it showed me that the roads that don’t go where you planned often take you exactly where you need to be.”
The techie added, “Now I lead products building products for people, coach people especially girls, and I have been able to help my mother travel the world to new countries which she always wanted to.”
Today, the 33-year-old lives in Canada with her husband and a kid, and is among the “top percentile” earners in the foreign land.
The struggles in a foreign land:
When asked, “What are the hurdles you faced to be where you are?” Qazi replied, “So many. And they all came at the same time – that’s the part nobody really talks about. The biggest one was my mindset. I grew up thinking good grades equal a good life. That’s just how we’re raised in India. When I got to the US, that whole belief system fell apart. Nobody was handing you anything based on your marks. You had to go find opportunities, talk to strangers, ask for things, put yourself out there — all things I was never taught to do. Rewiring my brain to think that way was genuinely the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.”
She expressed, “Then there’s my confidence. Not getting into IIT had already done a number on me. I constantly felt like I wasn’t good enough – even when the facts said otherwise. Getting a C+ at Cornell felt like confirmation of my worst fears. It took years to stop seeing every setback as proof that I didn’t belong.”
She shared how her family’s situation added to her worries. “My family situation added another layer. My mum raised me alone. She sacrificed so much for me. And I left. I moved across the world while she was back home by herself. That’s not an easy thing to live with. The guilt, the worry – it stays with you.”
Qazi talked about “homesickness”, adding how it hit her harder than she ever expected. There were times when she felt completely alone. “You’re just sitting in your apartment wondering what you’re doing with your life. Those nights were really tough.”
The financial scare:
Qazi revealed to HT.com, “Financially, it was scary. My total tuition loan was USD $70,000. And before I even got on the plane, I had already used up every rupee I had saved — $10,000 — just for the upfront payment. I arrived in a new country, with a huge loan, no job, and zero safety net. That weight doesn’t leave you.”
She continued, “And then my husband and I were doing long distance after we got married for 2years. This was very hard for both of us. We would travel and meet whenever we got holidays or time from the courses. You’re trying to build a marriage over phone calls and visits while also surviving in a foreign country. That takes a toll on both of you.” However, she shared that each of the hurdles she faced, made her tougher.
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Concluding her story, Qazi told HT.com, “Life abroad is hard. Really hard. Nobody glamourises the lonely nights, the financial stress, the feeling of starting from zero in a place where nobody knows your name. But it also does something to you that nothing else can. It brings out a version of you that you didn’t even know existed. You become braver, more resourceful, more open. You stop waiting for permission to go after things. You figure out who you actually are when everything familiar is stripped away.
Her advice to the younger generation:
“If I could tell one thing to young people — especially women who feel stuck, who feel like the path in front of them is the only path — it’s this: go somewhere unknown. Build your life in a place where nobody knows your story yet. Struggle a little. It will be the hardest thing you ever do, and it will show you exactly what you’re made of. You don’t find your potential in your comfort zone. You find it on the other side of the hardest chapter you’ve ever lived through.”
