An Indian-origin tech professional in the United States has struck an emotional chord after sharing how visa delays prevented him from being with his mother during her final days. He described the experience as his “biggest regret.”
Gautam Dey, who has lived and worked in the US for nearly two decades, wrote about the loss in a LinkedIn post. Stripping away his professional identity, he framed his story saying he was writing “as a son.”
Dey’s mother had been diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and was hospitalized for over two weeks. During that time, he was caught in a frantic attempt to secure a visa stamping appointment so he could travel to India.
He described repeatedly trying for nearly a month; refreshing appointment portals, submitting hospital documents to the consulate and waiting for a slot that never came. As he put it, he “waited, prayed, and hoped,” but ultimately, “time did not wait.”
Cost of a system
Having moved to the US in 2007 for specialized software work, Dey said he had followed every rule: building a career, paying taxes and raising a family. But when faced with a personal emergency, those years of compliance offered little help.
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What made the situation more difficult, he explained, was the risk attached to travelling without proper documentation. Leaving the US without a confirmed appointment could have meant being stuck abroad for months, jeopardizing not just his job but also his family’s legal status.
That left him facing what he described as an “impossible choice”, between being with his dying mother and protecting his children’s future.
Goodbye
By the time any possibility of travel could materialise, it was too late. Dey’s mother passed away while he remained thousands of miles away.
He said his final moments with her were limited to phone calls and video screens. Reflecting on it, he wrote that he would “carry that pain forever.”
Dey stressed that his post was not intended as a political statement or criticism of any one country. Instead, he wanted to draw attention to what he called a “human cost” that often goes unnoticed in conversations around immigration and opportunity.
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In his words, “a dream should not become a cage at the moment your family needs you the most.”
The experience has also shaped how he views the idea of success. Dey urged younger professionals to think carefully before equating achievement solely with moving abroad, noting that opportunities closer to home are evolving.
